We got DOOM running inside TypeScript's type system... what??
WARNING: This is the most abhorrent thing that will ever happen in Typescript
Stop and take a second to look beyond the shit show that 2025 has provided us. More important matters are brewing. TypeScript types can run DOOM.
Yesterday, Michigan TypeScript founder Dimitri Mitropoulos came out of the woodworks and posted a video "TypeScript types can run DOOM"
I clicked on this video like an hour after it came out, thinking it would be just another silly little coding video. Y'know, the usual: someone attempting to run Doom on whatever thing for the millionth time.
god no.. this was so much worse..
There are 3.5 TRILLION lines of types. Just types.
He built a full WebAssembly virtual machine IN TYPESCRIPT TYPES.. and then ran not only DOOM in it, but ANY PROGRAM - WITH TYPESCRIPT TYPES ONLY. Basically, anything that you could run on your own computer, he can run on this shit.
Not only is this the largest Typescript code base IN EXISTENCE, the source code is 177 TB LARGE. 177. TERABYTES. LARGE - and that's the OPTIMIZED VERSION.
Before extreme optimizations, the source was 1.25 PETABYTES. It took 3 months to render the FIRST FRAME.
Now it takes a mere 12 days to render the first frame in the game, making this port of Doom on Typescript TYPES run at 0.0000009645 FPS
The type checker has to run 12 days straight, with 20 MILLION type instantiations PER SECOND, just to generate the first frame. Truly an abomination.
This will most likely go down in history as the most impressive programming feat anyone has ever done, ever.
Better yet, this abomination is open source on GitHub
Check out the original video by Michigan Typescript. It's probably the stupidest yet most impressive thing I've ever seen..